Why a good conservative must support Barack Obama!

The reasons given by Brooks, Powell, Adelman, Hart, Kmiec, Buckley et al for their political apostasy and announced intentions to vote for a radically left-wing, one-year senator (he has spent the other three years since 2004 running for president) from the heart of the Chicago Daley machine, not to mention a highly problematic circle of friends and no actual accomplishments on his record, seem to center a lot on their distaste for McCain’s vice presidential running mate.  It seems that Governor Palin hasn’t been quick enough on the draw for them with a nice smooth lie, in the way glib con artists like Bill Clinton, Joe Biden, and Barack himself are when asked a “gotcha” question. 

This rationale doesn’t stand up terribly well when examined outside the newsrooms of the New York Times and MSNBC, and most of the explanations for the planned votes are embarrassingly bad.  I think that I can offer a better rationale for All The Best Strange New Respect “Conservative” People (e.g., rich, East Coast, Ivy League, non-religious, you get the idea) to vote Barack:

1) He is against expanding foreign aid– Barack’s half brother in Kenya, George, lives in a dump  on twelve dollars a year and The Vacuous Garment has never sent any kind of aid  over there to him.  If Barack can ignore his half brother, surely he can tell Egypt to take a hike.  

2) He is very strong on the real estate business– With the current housing market crunch, you know how important that competence and understanding of real property markets is to our economy.  He found a way to buy his mansion in Hyde Park and get an extra large yard for a bargain price by hard bargaining with Tony Rezko, who happened to buy the lot next door at the same time in one of those amazing Chicago coincidences, and he knew how to get a bunch of Chicago slums rebuilt at little or no cost to the developers.  Someone who knows how to get a good deal is just who we need taking care of the $700 billion market financial re-capitalization project.  Perhaps Vivian Jarrett or Tony Rezko could replace Henry Paulson? 

3) He is experienced and judicious handling other peoples’ money– For example, out of his meager campaign funds of $600 million, the big party at Invesco Field was only $5.3 million– that’s less than 1%.  That kind of frugality and stewardship is vital to our budget future as new federal spending is considered.  I’m sure that he would limit the costs of his inauguration to only 1% of next year’s couple trillion buck federal budget.

4) He is also experienced and judicious in not giving handouts to the poor– such as, for example, his beloved Aunt Zeituni about whom he wrote in his first memoir; she lives in a slum in Boston.  We need that kind of tough-minded discipline to get away from all this “I feel your pain” stuff and stop the giveaway programs.  Lack of charity begins at home! 

5) He rejects government controls and excessive regulation– why, even after an initial kowtow to the politically correct gods of speech suppression, he courageously changed is mind in favor of freedom, and broke away from the repressive yoke of FEC campaign finance limits.  It takes guts to recognize your opportunity to buy the election by getting a lot of fraudulent credit card donations on-line plus foreign money from Palestine previous misguided error in saying you would abide by the campaign finance law, and instead stand up for free speech!  Power to the (rich) (or, bundled trial lawyer-donating) people!

6) He is loyal to his friends– Loyalty and friendship are very important to traditionalist conservatives.  The Vacuous Garment may not be big on family, but he could easily have thrown unrepentant terrorist Bill Ayers under the bus, where the distinguished “Professor of English” (actually, Prof of Education) would have been crowded and squeezed, sharing the space down there with Obama’s grandma and Pastor Wright.  Instead, Barack showed true intestinal fortitude and support for his old friend Prof. Ayers by simply denying that they had ever had any kind of relationship. 

7) He is careful and doesn’t rush into things.  The thoughtfulness that David Brooks noticed, when discussing the essentially naturalistic (the generic “higher power”), economically socialist, quasi-pacifism that Reinhold Niebuhr sold as a form of theology and Christianity, is shown by all those courageous “Present” votes in Illinois and in the US Senate.  Sen. McCain seems to be deluded into thinking that courage is adhering to an unpopular position if you believe it is right and it costs you to stand firm.  But, rather than permitting himself to be rushed into taking a position that some voting group might not approve, Obama stands tall and takes the heat from both sides of most issues- neither the “tastes great” nor “less filling” group is completely happy with him.  Feeling very strongly both ways is lonely- and Obama is willing to cope with that loneliness to avoid pushing the wrong positions.  What character!

8] He would spare no effort to fight our enemies– We know that he is absolutely willing to do battle against enemies because His campaign has never backed down from a fight against evil.  For example, as represented by Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, or someone from Fox News unfairly describing what he has said and written in the past.  Fight the smears!

9) He is strongly in favor of national securities– In this age of challenges to the global financial system, we are seeing that governments have found it necessary to inject new capital into the system.  For example, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were treated as quasi-government companies (“government sponsored entities” nor GSE), then there was the effective takeover of insurance giant AIG, the purchase of p[referred stock in the nine largest US banks, and so on.  When the national government owns these stock shares, or “securities”, we use the term  “national securities” to describe the financial stake the federal government has in these companies.  It requires one with a strong affinity for federal government power to really appreciate the possibilities associated with national securities.  For example, the government could order these banks now to only make loans to poor people who can’t p[ay them back, thus fulfilling important social goals…..  (‘What? You mean ‘national security’?  Like bombs and offing terrorists or murderous dictators ?   Um, uh, to quote the late Gilda Radner as Emily Litella, ‘Nevermind.’”- if you don’t get it, check this out)  Disregard the above.  If we are attacked by bad guys, the UN will take care of us.

10) He opposes government interference in business, especially health care mandates– Barack won’t stand for government getting into private business affaires and mandating certain business practices or medical treatments.  In fact, he is a stickler for preventing civil or criminal liability for medical malpractice if an obstetrician chooses to treat or not treat a patient (well, a “mistaken” 5 minute old baby is sort of a patient…. isn’t it?).  Government should stay out of business!

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